Jar of Thoughts

You want it so bad? Fight for it.

2012-02-10T12:10:00.001+08:00

I have a good news to share which I bet most of you already know what it is :)

Well, last year I sat for O Level's Maths exam because I needed at least C6 to get into local uni and guess what, I got my result yesterday and I GOT A CREDIT 6!!!! ^^ I can't describe how glad and blessed I am but all those hard work sure paid off well :) thank God! I want to thank quite a lot of people. Chris, Tian Fu, Senthil, Derrick, Khew, Shenton, Cally, Li Na and whole lot more. Without these people's guidance and supports, I am not sure if I can get C6. Seriously, I find it unbelievable I managed to get it because the exam itself wasn't promising at all. Even Chris was saying, 'I don't know how you can get it!' Seriously, sooooo unbelievable!!!! ^^ God's work! :) Praise Him!

For the moment, I have a lot to think. Firstly, should I leave Polytechnic and go for Degree in uni? My problem here is, I feel like obtaining this AD cert in Business Entrepreneurship because so far I know, Polytechnic is the first institution in Brunei to offer such programmes. Which means that, job opportunities for this might be vast out there. Besides, looking at my financial background, the sooner the better. In Polytechnic, I will just need to study for 2 years and if I pursue degree, I will need to study 4 years. You see my point here? Yeah, you might be wondering why choose Advanced Diploma when you can go for degree?? Because I want this cert and my financial background AND in the future, hopefully when I graduate degree at least I have two different certs. One is AD in Business Entrepreneurship and another is Degree in (maybe) Business Administration.

As for my degree plan, if my AD result is good enough to skip straight to 2nd semester of Uni then it will be great. If not, I will apply for degree again once I have the money earn by myself. Just pray that the requirement by that time won't change and remain the same like now. Right now, I am waiting for the citizenship exam and hopefully I score it :) Even if i don't pursue degree, it's not too bad to work with just AD cert right?

I will still seek for opinions from others regarding my choice. Maybe you can advice me what to do? ^^

Wait is over!

2012-02-08T22:14:00.000+08:00

Ahhh today, finally the GSCE/GCSE results are released and the wait is finally over. But not for me! I haven't receive my result via SMS :( does it mean something bad? Hope not. I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night, shrieking over my result. HAHA!

Lectures finally started. So far just Maths, MIB & Pendidikan Islam. Maths so far seems okay for me. Just Statistics. More words than numbers!! LOL. Learning system in higher institutions like this is totally dependent on the students itself. Lecturers don't give you note but you need to download it via internet which includes lesson plan and tutorial. Awesome thing is that, once given an assignment, we are not necessary to attend the next lecture. Like MIB, we were given assignment on Tuesday and tomorrow we don't need to attend the lecture because we are given time to research on our assignment. Sounds pretty good but really, if you're a really lazy person, YOU ARE DOOM. I hope I am not one of them. Still getting used to this kind of system. & we need access card everywhere we go except the toilet, lobby and stairs. Other places like rooms, library, student lounge and lift, we need our access cards. Even our attendance is recorded using access card. How hi-tech...

Polytechnic

2012-02-05T00:14:00.001+08:00

This is just another pathetic post. It's time for me to blog things out.

School started today and nothing much really happened. Alright, let me just talk about the 3 days orientations held at ICC because our temporary campus located at Jalan Ong Sum Ping is a condo and it doesn't space for us to do the orientation. Anyways, the 3 freaking days were mad tiring. Waking up 5.30am and headed up to Bandar and came back down. Seriously, overtime I can really count the bumps along the highway. Kidding ^^

The 3 days orientation consists of those briefing regarding the school learning system and some counselling talks. And of course, not forgetting a team building activity. Majority are Malays and only few Chinese. I just don't know why, my friendliness is not activated. I don't feel like talking much or making convo with others. Instead I just replied what they asked and smiled. I feel awkward somehow. But I guess that's normal. So I'm not a weirdo at all :) lol.

So today, I finally get to meet and know my course mates. Still need time to remember their faces and names. For this few days, I got a lot of people saying hi to me but I have no idea who they are. Yeah, I am that mean. hahahaha! Our campus, I must say is pretty awesome. It's a 12 floors condo and thank God we have lift. The campus even has a mock hotel for teachers who stay back late and it's a budgeted hotel. And I heard it's also for people who will be taking Business Hospitality Management in July? Pretty awesome huh? I wish I could take that course too. I'm somewhat interested in hospitality. But what I got offered is not that bad too. I might even end up opening a nail polish store in the future ^^

For the time being, like I mentioned in my previous post, I will be travelling back and forth. Really tiring. My ass eventually cramped over the 1 hour journey. Seriously, a lot of problems have been hitting on me since I accepted this offer by Polytechnic. One of them is definitely the financial difficulties. I don't come from a rich family but a medium-income family. The money that my dad earned usually go to the household expenses and settling off bills and so on. So there is really not much left after all those. Sometimes, I feel so guilty for insisting to study. It somehow put a heavy financial strains on both of my parents. I have to pay approx $300 for the school fees and later, maybe my accommodation fees and my pocket money. Add up all together, approx $600 spend on me alone. Geez! :(

With all this financial problem I am facing, I am starting to get afraid of money. It may sound silly but it's true. You must be wondering who the hell in the world is afraid of money?? Well, ME! Whenever I want to spend or buy something, I really NEED to think twice before purchase. I'm starting to spend my money wisely and honestly, it's a good thing. I feel really overwhelmed at times thinking about money. It's all money money money. There was a time, I feel like giving up study because of it. So frustrating :( and there are still a lot that need to be spend like the registration fees and I need a laptop for my course as well. Can money just grow on tree??

This alone has really taught me a lot on money. Sometimes I really envy those with rich parents and money never seems to be their problem. No offence, but kids these days are quite demanding. They are constantly demanding for better gadgets when they already have one and so on. Will life teach them a lesson?

CNY + Farewell

2012-02-04T15:36:00.001+08:00

Hello guys!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

It's the year of Dragon and I wish everyone have a prosperous year blessed with good luck, health & fortune.

I'm not gonna blog much on my Chinese New Year celebration but all I gotta say is, I have tons of fun hanging out with all my friends and people I love.

I will be starting school this Saturday at Brunei Polytechnic. Yes, for the moment, I will be travelling back and forth and seriously, IT IS SO TIRING :( I hope I can get through this until they provide us a place to stay. Anyways, I finally left JO. I sound more happy which I am not. I'm missing the great people back there! :( But it's okay..

Alright, another post coming right after this.

CNY Hauls + Lacquers!

2012-01-19T21:10:00.000+08:00

Ok right, as promised to this blog and readers!

Last Saturday, I headed across the border with my colleagues to do some Chinese New Year shopping and I must say, I am pretty happy with my purchases! :) Alright, cut the crap and here we go.

A blue sleeveless top with lace from A.D Jeans.

About RM 29.90

My fave! Love the chain and details.

RM 36.90, A.D Jeans

From Mix n Match Boutique, RM 55

From Parkson, RM 31.90 after discount.

Yep, I'm still missing pants and few accessories for my outfit. I'm gonna head up to BSB tomorrow to get 'em all :D

Never missed Nature Republic when I'm at Miri. So, I bought

Base coat, cos mine is running out!

Picked this cream-based eye shadow in Gold at the RM10 section.

And some goodies for member!

Some Skin care sample and eyeshadow!

And lastly,

My latest addition to the nail polishes family!!

My first China Glaze & Color Club.

Bought them online from Ms. Fashionist.

China Glaze in Champagne Bubbles.

Color Club in Cold Metal

Sorry peeps, I haven't got the time to try them on my nails yet but both are with shimmers! Quite excited to paint them on my nails. Will show you guys hopefully ^^

That's all for this post. Enjoy~

Change of mind

2012-01-17T23:33:00.003+08:00

Hello guys! Miss me?
I guess it's time to update again :D

Remember my last topic on Polytechnic Brunei's briefing? Well, I actually got accepted into that school and was offered Advance Diploma in Business Entrepreneurship! Honestly, I wanted Business Management badly. But after hearing and seeking opinions from people around, they said this course is actually good because it sort of cover the whole areas of business. When I graduate in the future - hopefully -, it doesn't mean I have to start up SME or something similar, I can work with any companies. Well, at least that's what I heard.

Anyways, I accepted that offer. Then you will be wondering what happen to ITB or UBD? Well, I can actually quit if my result is eligible for both ITB and UBD. But then, I have a change of mind. I might be continue with this course instead of going to UBD because of my financial problems. My dad will be retiring in about 3 to 4 years time and I don't want him to spend all his hard earned money on me and not saving for his older days. But this is just for-the-moment thinking! Things can change under circumstances right? So, I will be studying for two years and my course will start either end of this month or beginning of February. It's kinda of a big rush, frankly speaking. Everything's a rush!

Me getting into Polytechnic means my employment at JO will end this month :( I am sad, seriously. Not because of the job but the people. I have a lot of people treating me nicely and take good care of me. I feel welcome there. Leaving them is like huge chunk of my me is gone. I know I am exaggerating but true. I can't believe how deep I have bonded with them. I think I will cry my eyes out on my last day. I hate separations. I always have and I believe everyone do too.

Last week, I definitely had the moment of my life. I was asked to be part of the managing team by Dreamz MKZ Event Management Company to run a wedding event. I was in charged of light and sound and praise the Lord, all things went well :) I was quite nervous, afraid that I might messed the lighting and sounds but hey, I actually did ok, thanks to those experienced Empire staffs!! I just cannot messed up people's memorable night. It was their special night to celebrate their marriage. May God bless the couples!

Chinese New Year is just around the corner and how's the cleaning and shopping going on? Hope all is well. I shall update my CNY hauls and few nail polishes updates soon. I will hear from you guys soon. Take care at the mean time!!!!

It is all that stuffs

2012-01-06T22:03:00.001+08:00

I've been staring at this space for few minutes now and I haven't come up with any idea what to blog! I think I will just blog random. You know, just to let this blog alive!

I think I have been repeating that I am busy? Yes, I am busy. Especially when Chinese New Year is just barely two weeks away. Have a lot to shop! I just had my salary the other day and I am feeling broke already. Not that I spent them all in one go, just put aside those CNY money. Sometimes, bad stuff about working is no more financial supports! Will be doing the hair this week and heading down to Miri for the real shopping. I have nothing in mind about my this year's clothing. Maybe simple or just buy those I get to wear daily. I definitely need more jeans and tees! :)

Last few days, I received an unexpected calls from Brunei Polytechnic School. Newly set up and offering Advance Diploma which is similar to Higher National Diploma. I was called to attend a briefing tomorrow and according to a friend who already went, there will be a list of programmes and you will need to look for your name under each programmes. Hopefully mine is Business Management or Marketing! But then again, with this unexpected news popped up, I surely have a lot on my plate now. Which school to go? ITB or Polytechnic? It just somehow really frustrates me when my mind is constantly fighting against each other. I'm a VERY indecisive person and usually my decision is based on... okay! I don't even know how I made my decisions in the past. Usually others make it for me and they keep brainwashing me with the arguments. LOL. But will see how it goes tomorrow ^^ too early to decide anything yet right now.

Recently, a friend just confronted me with something that I really didn't see it coming. Not from him anyway. He said something about me acting and trying to behave like ang moh and all those stuffs. Honestly, I was hurt but overtime I got over that. This is who I really am I guess? I'm a one of God's creation and whoever insult my features mean insulting Him as well :) ehseh.

New beginning

2012-01-01T11:31:00.003+08:00

Hi guys!! It's the first 10.58am of 2012 and I would like to wish all of you, a very Happy New Year!
And before I proceed on telling you guys my NYE's countdown, I would like to wish:

This poser,

a Happy birthday!! :P

So how did you spend your last day and moment of 2011? Hope all is well and memorable. Hope the ending of 2011 was great and happy for you guys :D

Well, I spent my last moment at Cally's place with colleagues. She had a mini BBQ and steamboat session. Last year (2011) was quite simple and low profile. LOL. We had our belated Christmas gifts exchanging as well. It was fun!! All laughs and I really like that.

After that, we went to Bowling because there will be a countdown there as well. But once we reached there, the crowd was so little. Didn't expect that! So we zoom off to Empire for the firework countdown and again, it was a huge disappointment.

No firework. Just the downfall of balloons and party poppers! So boring. So much for rushing up all the way from Seria to Bandar just for the countdown. And not to say, the countdown wasn't even proper. They didn't do the 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 thingy. Instead once the clock stroked 12, they just screamed Happy New Year. I made a vow, my 2013 countdown shouldn't be this lame and boring! LOL

Another new year, another life filled with challenges and trials. 2011 had been a good year for me.

2011 (just those minor stuffs!)

Headed over to the border - Kuala Lurah for the first time.
Went to Paintball!! :)
Went to Church on Christmas Eve!
Gotten a Bible as a gift from friend!
Just when I thought no more exam for me, I had sit for O level Maths exam.
Gotten my first camera w/ my own money: Sony Wx7
Gotten my first Android phone w/ my own money: Sony Ericsson, WT19i Live with Walkman

And that's all I could remember.

For 2012, I just hope

Faith in Jesus grows stronger.
Back to study.
Love people who loves me and hates me.
Be more thankful and appreciative.
Take care of my skin.
Drink more water.
Smile more often
GROW A LONG HAIR!

Again, that's all I could think of right now. I'm not really serious with this whole resolution things anymore, I guess? I'm becoming a dull person.

Anyways, will talk to you guys soon ^^ loves.

2012

2011-12-29T21:31:00.000+08:00

Hi guys!

New Year, 2012 is coming in few more days. I have no plan yet. To be confirm anyways! :( on the list now is, spending New Year's Eve at Bandar and countdown at Empire then find something else to do to welcome the new year. LOL. Sounds so boring. I was planning to find people to bring me to club since I'm still a virgin to clubbing but that is not happening this year. So sad. But thats okay, I guess! I still have time.

Scratch off what I said last post about the New Year's Resolution thingy. So far, I only come up with one. That is to make me faith in Jesus grows stronger!

Chinese New Year is just next month. Barely one month now. I surely have a lot to worry about. The clothes, the hair and etc. I'm kinda excited and nervous at the same time knowing that O level result is coming out as well. Prolly February? I hope so. I need a joyful Chinese New Year anyways :P I don't want to spend every single moments of CNY crying over myself, if it turns out unfavorable.

Well, I have nothing else to say. Happy New Year guys, just in case I am not blogging :) loves.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T23:33:00.001+08:00

Merry Christmas guys!!! :-) hope you guys had a wonderful one.

My christmas eve was well-spent. Had dinner at Shabu-Shabu and then made it home in time to attend a Christmas Eve service at St. Margaret Church with a friend. I felt truly blessed to be part of that. Listening to preaching, sing hymns, prayed and got blessed by pastor!! It was one amazing experience for me. It meant a lot to me to be there! I will definitely go again. :-) Happy Birthday, Jesus Christ, my saviour! Thank God for sending His beloved son to die for us and cleansed our sin. Thank You so much!!!

2012 is just couple of days away. Not gonna do the resolution things. I'm just too good at breaking them. LOL

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.2

Never gets old!

2011-12-15T21:43:00.001+08:00

Hi guys!

Sorry for being extremely hiatus for almost a month time now. I bet no one noticed anyways! I'm gonna blog everything that I think should be posted here. Sorry, not in proper paragraph thingy. Well, what's that matter is you get what I'm talking about :)

Been having a quite hectic life after the exam itself. Have dance practices for company annual dinner which will be happening next year. Quite a lot of after work activities like hanging around the newly opened Bowling Center or explore around KB/Seria for good foods. So much for after exam celebratory :)

I gotta admit that I'm putting on weight each passing day! I have been eating a lot. No doubt. My face is expanding as well as my belly. But people say I look better with this shape rather than my old skinny figure. So I think that's good in some ways? Oh well, still need to control a bit la somehow.

Christmas week is coming!!! I'm excited even-though I'm not celebrating. But you know, the festive spirit is hard to ignore. Year 2012 is fast approaching. I can't wait for the new life, challenges and EVERYTHING! Chinese New Year falls next month as well. So yippe!! Will be busy for this and next month and maybe the coming month. Preparation for the company annual dinner which hopefully will be in February, my last month of employment in JO!! :(

A lot burdens have been placed on my life recently. I hate how drama at workplace can affect my-life-outside-work. Apparently, there are misunderstandings that are yet to be cleared. Now, it's like every moves I make are being monitored. You get what I mean? Like I'm being controlled when I'm used to so much freedom. Geez.

And another reason for my dissapearance would be, sucky E-speed!!! Cheat my money!!! >:(

Last few days ago, had a mini potluck gathering at a friend's place. It totally meant catching up with college friends and those who came back from overseas for holidays. It was great spending some quality time them. The happy and crazy atmosphere never gets old!!

Missing them a lot!! :)

Friday night

2011-11-18T23:04:00.001+08:00

Happy Friday!

This Friday night, stayed home and painted my nails in stripes.
Hopefully a snap of it will be up here soon ^^

Tomorrow will be attending a colleague's wedding dinner at Manggis ballroom. It is my first time receiving such "red bombs" and I'm kinda excited? LOL. I have no idea what to wear like seriously. I mentally mix and match all the formal outfits I own and trust me, they always turn out to be wardrobe malfunction in reality. I'm planning to wear a dress with the heels that defines rockstar! Will let you guys see how it is after the dinner. I might even change my outfit at the last minute.

Yesterday, I went to an eye check up appointment and apparently, I'm diagnosed with Astigmatism. The name itself sounds like some sort of serious eye disease but it is not. It is just that my cornea is irregular and bla bla bla. In conclusion, it difficult to see fine details, either close up or from a distance. In other words, it takes time for my eyes to focus on something. In other name, it is called Refractive errors. I think it's pretty common ^^ so I'm not alone.

I've been uploading tons of pictures on Facebook lately that I'm starting to think it somehow draws SOME people's attention towards my social life. So fucking annoying you know?? So basically, here's what happened. A daughter of my aunt's friend WAS in my friend list on Facebook but I deleted her anyways. I was pissed and didn't think straight. Anyways, she told her mom about the pictures uploaded in Facebook and her mom told my aunt. And my aunt talked to me about it, like seriously girl?? You don't have a life? I know this is a statement made by an angry person but I really hate kepo people. My Facebook, and I own EVERY rights to everything. Somehow, it serves as a good warning. Need to stop uploading pictures to facebook. Just too many stalkers and kepo people sneaking around -__- Geez

Drifted apart

2011-11-15T20:58:00.001+08:00

Made some changes with the blog templates. The fonts and add in more details at "Your Truly". Have a look! :)

It's already Tuesday and right after work today, went to jog with colleagues at OGDC!

I'm quite surprised that I wasn't feeling breathless or the "pass-out" feeling. Good thing, I think?

Anyways, I really need to start getting rid of my bulging belly. They are not pretty especially when you're wearing something nice, just to notice that your belly is stealing your spotlight! Frustrating isn't?

It's nice to know few people around me are approaching healthy lifestyle. It got me motivate and I hope this keep going :) Good luck us!

Earlier, I was browsing few blogs and one click leads to another then another then another and ended up reading several blogs. I just realized how boring my blog is. I have nothing interesting to blog about except all those boring stuffs that happened in my life. I think I should blog beauty some time. But I'm not pro in all that, so I will just end up embarrassing myself. LOL! But will see, maybe on polishes since I'm a big fan? :) hmm..

I feel like I have drifted away from my high school friends. I have no idea what went wrong or it is just me pay less attention to them and not making any effort to communicate? I'm really sorry guys, if you guys are reading. I guess people are getting busy with their work, school and stuffs. I understand, but sometimes it makes me feel like as if I have no friends at all for this 19 years of living. Maybe I've been expecting too much. Expectation is human nature and it's something that can hardly be taken away or change. I'm really sorry for those who tried approaching me but I pushed them away in some invisible ways. I'm sorry I pissed you guys off and didn't care. Please forgive the horrible person I am. :(

Chinese New Year is like 2 months away. Falls on 23rd January 2012. So really, again with the money topic. Need to start saving!!! OHHMYYGOD! How much longer do I need to remind myself to start saving each time????

2nd post

2011-11-14T18:13:00.001+08:00

Ooooh finally, some time to sit down and blog!

Sorry I've gone hiatus for the past few weeks. Been quite busy with work and social life. I have been going out like a lot and finally feeling a little bit worn out and sleepless after all those outings with colleagues. Well, you can catch up my social life via Facebook. Just seeing those pictures I uploaded explain all the fun I had with them :)

Third week of November and I'm broke T_____________T yup, all those outing sure put my financial status in a miserable situation. This weekend, got a colleague wedding to attend at Manggis Ballroom and they are planning to overnight at some low-budget hotels at Sengkurong. I'm up for that but seriously, I am really having some financial problems. So I might need to think twice about that plan, because next week, there will be another 2 days holiday and I might be heading across the border to spend the sweet holiday off!

SOMEBODY PLEASE BE MY PERSONAL FINANCE CONTROLLER! All this gotta stop!!!!!

1st November post

2011-11-07T01:32:00.002+08:00

Hi guys! What's up?

First post for November!
I've been quite busy lately especially when exam ended. For me, it's something that is worth celebrating ^^

So Friday night, treated the fellas at Excapade Sushi to express my gratitude towards them for their efforts and encouragement throughout the whole O level period. After that went to the newly opened Bowling Centre for some bowling session.

Actually this is a over-due post. I'mma start fresh next post..

Worse and dark days are over

2011-10-31T22:59:00.000+08:00

Hey guys!!
Finally I'm done with exam and surprisingly, I feel like nothing at all :(
I was expecting some sort of relieved feeling but I'm still feeling tensed.
Anyways, Paper two today was something like I expected. By this, I mean the difficulty level,
I tried doing those hard questions and left those super hard question unanswered,
Honestly, this morning I was feeling a bit "bo sim" already :/ Now I'm only can pray and hope for miracles to happen!!

At the mean time, I want to take this chance to express my gratitude to those who've been there FOR me and WITH me. I owe Chris a lot. I feel really bad for being such an ungrateful person for not appreciating his efforts. I have already listed my "Thanks to" list on Facebook and once again, THANK YOU GUYS!! Sorry for the troubles and thanks for everything!! May God bless you all with love <3

Now, going back to work tomorrow. Gonna miss those hardcore night tho..... :/

In the end, what's will I get?

2011-10-29T02:24:00.001+08:00

Paper 2 will just be like 2 days away and seriously, I haven't been learning or revising anything since the last time I blogged.

What the hell happened?

I just didn't know what to do.

I know it is an excuse but I'm just so tired..

I feel like giving up.

I'm tired of fighting.

What will I get in the end??

There is really no guarantee that I will be going to uni even though I get the result that I wanted..

It just sucks, you know what I mean??

I feel like screaming my lungs out

Yes, that how pressure I feel inside.

Somebody please rescue me from this hole.

O Lord, you are the refuge I seek.

You know, I hate how I am a disappointment to others?
Especially when they encourage me to study but I'm doing something else?
You know how much guilt I feel for letting them down or letting them think I'm so useless??
I admit, I'm useless and all that..
I AM MY OWN WORSE NIGHTMARE.
That's how I would like to phrase it.. :(
At this point, I really feel like slapping myself.
I NEED A WAKE UP CALL!!!!!!!!!!
Geez man, I should get a life for being so damn pathetic. I know, in the end I have no one to blame but myself. guess I Will really deserve what is coming after me...

I'm so freaking stressed out.
HELP?

Maths Paper One

2011-10-28T01:06:00.002+08:00

Finally sat for my Maths Paper One yesterday and honestly, it has to be the easiest paper I have ever came across but sadly, I didn't get the chance to practice on the time managing skills.

Yep, I didn't get to finish it on time.

I was practically rushing for the last 15 minutes.

I was feeling nervous as well my hand started shaking when I knew I just screwed my chance.

I didn't have the time to double check or attempt on those questions that I was planning to leave it unanswered.

But yeah, I am disappointed in myself really. But what more can I do?

It happened and it was a silly mistake.

It taught me to have better time management or maybe I'm already adjusted to A level timing?

I know I'm talking craps.

Anyways, whatever happen, happened! If it's meant to be, it will works out perfectly.

It was embarrassing to cry in front of my mom when I got in the car.

You see, I'm not that much of a girl that turns to mom or parents when I'm troubled or anything. No offence here. I tend to share my problems more with close friends :)

So now, I will just have to study hard for my next Maths paper which will be on Monday.

I have 3 days left and seriously, I don't know how to start.

I'm stuck looool

Keep holding on

2011-10-26T23:57:00.001+08:00

Maths Paper 1 is tomorrow. The day is finally here.
Honestly, I'm nervous. I'm terrified. I'm worried. I'm anxious.
I don't dare to think what will happen tomorrow. I know I sound exaggerating, but if you walk in my shoes right now at this moment, that's how I really feel and think. I guess I'm about to have nervous breakdown :(
I pray that God will guide and bless me with wisdom tomorrow.
I feel really blessed today to have few colleagues and close friends to wish me luck.
Seriously needed those lucks! Thank you guys. Really put a smile on my face when reading them :) THANK YOU SO MUCH!
I really wish they allow us to listen to songs in the exam hall while sitting for exam.
That way my nerves and mind will be calmed.

I've been listening to this song. It somehow motivates me on this Maths challenges.
It somehow also appear as a comfort song to what I'm feeling inside. Just read the lyrics. It's like God is talking/reaching out to me.
Thank you Glee Project for letting me discover back this song.

and I have a hot for nerds!!!

Clueless on a wednesday morning

2011-10-26T01:42:00.002+08:00

1.41am on a Wednesday morning. Can't believe Thursday is tomorrow :S

Staying up again.
This time, I'm determined to stay up late than usual.
But I just don't know what to study.
I seriously have no idea what to study now :(

Lord, PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

2011-10-25T00:00:00.000+08:00

I just marked my own papers and all of it are below 50 out of 80 for Paper 1.

I think the result is quite obvious isn't?

But thank God, the hope and determination in me are still fighting and believing.

THANK YOU FATHER!! <3

Bloglovin

2011-10-24T16:04:00.002+08:00

Hey guys! Just recently signed up bloglovin ^^

Click to follow or you can scroll down and click on the "Eiffel Tower" to follow!!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Stress attack post!!!

2011-10-24T15:35:00.001+08:00

An almost 2 hours Maths revision is enough to kill all my brain cells.
Not to mention, I just did one year paper and I don't have the will to go on.
I have this habit of peeking the marking schemes and got demotivated after knowing I didn't get the answer right -_________________- AJJDAJLDOREORJQE
LIKE C'MON, down to 3 days left and I still suck like this????!!

Oh no, not giving myself pressure.
When the day comes, I will just try my very best.

Avoid careless mistakes.
Memorize the formulas
Understand the syllabus and questions.
BE PATIENCE!

I have this habit of giving up after I couldn't figure the solution to the question.

Going to burn stay up late for this week to fight for this challenges.

I know I can do it, IF I BELIEVE I CAN DO IT.

If I have the will to fight.

So currently, I've got 3 options in my hands.

If I couldn't score C6,

1) I will just apply HnD and hopefully I get chosen.

2) Retake June if I really want a degree.

3) Work.

I'm more to option 2, but we will see. Chris (my current Maths study tutor/study buddy) told me it's better to have at least a degree.

#JustWhen

2011-10-24T01:25:00.000+08:00

when my faith is gone and things are falling apart, He told me these . . .

[ Click on pictures for better readings ]

I have been praying a lot lately and unanswered.
I thought, maybe I haven't been expecting and praying with faith.

It's 1.25am on a Monday morning.
Up till this hour to revise on Maths.
I know I can do this ^^

Sucks to be me

2011-10-21T23:04:00.000+08:00

I want to give up can or not?

I feel really disappointed in myself.

I feel so fucking useless.

I feel like an ungrateful bitch. I'm not fully utilizing the remaining days.

I feel so hopeless.

I feel so dead.

Can I just go die?

Really, when I look around, there's really no one that I can talk to.

Either, they are full of themselves or they are just not that interested into your stories.

Just 5 days away.

I'm not ready.

I'm not familiar with the formulaes.

I'm still SLACKING.

I'm still doing the careless mistakes.

What sucks about being me?

I give up easily.

In general, just sucks to be me..

11 days

2011-10-16T00:28:00.001+08:00

Just 11 days away..

I bet you guys know what I'm talking about. Sorry if I'm starting or already bored you guys out. But really, my life is revolving around Maths and this thing really stress me out like a lot nowadays. I can't wait till this exam is over!! But today, a friend of mine just told me to look forward to the exam itself. That way I will feel motivated.

Yeah, in some ways, true. What really concern me now is again, the aftermath. I don't feel like living the guilt if I failed or don't manage to get C6 especially my "tutor". He said something like if you don't get credit, you are just wasting my time. I know, in some ways he's try to encourage me to study hard and all that stuffs. BUT WHAT HAPPEN TO ME? I just can't get rid of this lazy disease :( there are a lot of times I feel like crying because of this..

I feel really disconnected from God lately. :(

If it's meant to be, it will be

2011-10-08T16:14:00.000+08:00

Hey guys!

Thank God, weekend is finally here ^________________^ not doing anything special on this Saturday but will be heading over to a friend's house for Maths tutoring later tonight.

Just 19 days away. I have been counting for the Maths Paper One exam you know? I just want to remind myself how close the day I've been hoping not to arrive is approaching. I've been revising, but not intense enough. I sort of expected what my result will be judging from my revisions and my poor Maths basic. When I couldn't answer simple questions, I really feel disappointed in myself. But no worries, not giving myself too much stress. I will just stick to this; "if it's meant to be, it will be". I'm not sure if it's right to applies this on this situation but whatever!

During this Maths-stress period, I just really take this opportunity to express my gratitude towards few colleagues/friends of mine for their encouragements/supports! They helped me with some topics despite leaving school for few years already. I can see they really did try their best to assists me, which makes me feel really heart-touching ^^ I even have this friend who goes to the extent of supplying me study materials like past year papers, formula sheets and some revision guide books. Now, I have a friend (whom I just know) offers to tutor me Maths even though most of the time, it ends up him teaching me the wrong method BUT still able to find the right solutions to the questions. He motivates and force me to do those difficult questions that I tend to easily give up. Words can't express how grateful and thankful I am to have such people in my life right now. Hence, all their supports and efforts keep reminding myself to study hard and not to let them down. Thank You Lord for blessing me with such amazing and helpful people in my life.

Lately, there's a problem arise at workplace and seriously it has been somehow affecting my mood and performance. All I have to do now is hoping that all will be settle soon and hope nothing serious happens as well.

Go on and try to pull me down

2011-10-03T21:11:00.000+08:00

I'm TIRED!

I'm tired of my life in general.

Been experiencing stressful days back at workplace. Shit load of paper works to do, but I'm fine with that. What pissed me off THE most was, all the paper works that I am doing are all my colleague's work and they asked me to do it because she was simply being "busy". Yeah, busy gaming and updating her E! News channel, I KNOW!!! Fuck la! -__- you know whats the MOST frustrating shit? Do [ ] this much of work at a [ ] of salary. LOOK AT THE DAMN GAP!!!!!!!! Exploitation much???????? Ot just me being super sensitive???

There are a lot of stuffs making me very stressful as well aside from work. O level for example. Just 24 days away and I'm planning to quit my tuition. At tuition, you do past year papers and ask questions when you don't understand or don't know. Maybe IT IS JUST ME BEING STUPID AND LAZY, I forgot the next moment after some brief explanations!!! Few colleagues have offered me some help and I sincerely appreciate their kindness. Just 24 more days to go and I'm not doing any hardcore revisions. BUT AT LEAST, I'm feeling somehow motivated.

It must be the lack of praying and meditating that put me in such situations. Blame on myself but I'm truly grateful for where I am at. I'm just hoping for strength from Lord to pull through this. I CAN DO IT! Let's work hard.

This song describe how I feel at the moment...

What's in your bag?

2011-10-01T15:35:00.001+08:00

Hi guys!

Will be blogging a tagged post by Miss Jesmine! :)

Before I go on further, just wanna let you guys know that I don't usually stick to one bag and I don't really store much stuffs in my bag cos they don't stay there forever :P I keep switching bag ba! This bag I'm about to post is the one that I usually use when heading out for a hang out or movies or whatever ^^

Pick this bag up from a department store.

What kidnapped my heart is the color and the size of the bag.

My fake Ray Ban shades that I got from my last Labuan trip ^^

Make up pouch!!

Pure Water Facial Mist from The Face Shop.

Helps when my face dries out throughout the day or I need to refresh!! ^^

Make up remover tissue from Nature Republic!

and last but not least,

My contact lens case and solution.

And yeah, you notice tissues are missing out. I'm trying my very best to remember bring them each time I go out and ALWAYS ended up forgetting about them. I got teased by a guy friend about it at once. He said, "Wah, first time see girl no bring tissue one" I feel so ashamed man -_____________- hahaha

I'm going crazy

2011-09-27T18:34:00.002+08:00

Sorry guys for appearing hiatus for the past few days or weeks. I've been quite busy and was feeling a lil bit low profile. So yeah :P

Good news is that, I have to worry no more about Internet connection cos I finally subscribed Espeed ^^ been streaming lots of Youtube videos since then. Work is usual, nothing interesting! Surprised to find out that my in-tray was loaded with paper works this afternoon after returning from hospital. I had to clear them by today because I might be getting few days off this week ^^ Will be having a minor eye surgery tomorrow afternoon and hopefully a 3 days break?

Sorry everything seems brief, I don't know why but I have been having difficulty expressing my thoughts and feelings lately. Going through a lot right now in my life. But thank God, I'm still breathing :) Maths O level just a month away and honestly, I am not fully ready yet. Never will. So, I also been stressing a lot on the aftermath. What to do if I fail my maths? Will my parents afford to send me to Uni? Most importantly, jobs guaranteed after graduation? Where will I end up at if I pursue degree? I tell you, a lot going in my mind. Some parts of me are starting to get reluctant to study and the remaining part still fighting for that. I just have to study don't I? At least a HND will be fine.

Remember the Purposed Life driven book I've been reading? Well, for the moment, I stopped reading it. Not because I hate it or whatever, just that I'm not ready to go through the 40 days spiritual journey. It requires strength, faith and love to read it. Truthfully, that book has encouraged me to do a lot of things I never in life I expect I will do. Like confronting to a person that I feel uncomfortable with. That alone requires a lot of courage and wisdom. But I confronted anyway because it is the right thing to do. But the aftermath is almost torturing. Before the confrontation, few people often gossiped about her and after that, no one did it anymore. It makes me feel like I'm the only one that has problem with her but the truth is, everyone have problems with her but they couldn't find the courage to confront it. It makes me feel so -_____- and a bad person. But whatever, I did the right thing somehow. God bless ^___________^

God

2011-09-18T23:15:00.000+08:00

I love God and Lord Jesus and that's pretty much who I am. This is a part of me that I am proud of.

Spreading love

2011-09-04T20:15:00.001+08:00

Just about 7 weeks more, I will be entering examination hall and sit for the exam that I never look forward to :( It's already September and my revision is not progressing at all. I had given myself a time limit, that is to let all the fun ends next Sunday. After that, I will get into business and start revision and be SERIOUS! May God be with me throughout the whole period.

I've over spent last month that I have a lot of debts to settle this month. I need to get myself a new spectacles and start saving for real. I've been withdrawing the amount of money I saved in bank for this past few months -___- this life is very materialistic. People just keep demanding for more and better lives. Like any other people, I have wants like laptop, Android phone, cars and all that high tech stuffs or better stuffs. I often get pretty frustrated when I couldn't afford them on my own. I spent too much on foods and entertainment. As for this month, I totally splurged on movies, foods and beauties. Human really have unlimited wants! Once one of their wants is fulfilled, they start craving for another one. ENDLESS!!! This month, I VOW to cut down my spending on those stuffs and start saving for better stuffs ^^

I'm trying to tattoo these facts to my soul;

1) When couldn't fulfilled my wants, just remember that God wants me to focus more on Him than materialistic things in this world.

2) All things on here (Earth) is temporary. All the fortune, fame and legacy you earned on this planet won't last forever. They will fade once you leave this world. So why trying to hard for things that don't last forever?

3) Live life while it lasts. Life is VERY unpredictable and you might be gone the next minute. So start doing good and serving God with all your heart. When you feel like doing something, go and do it. If you want to bungee jump, GO AHEAD AND DO IT! You will never knows what might happen to you in the next minutes, days and years. Something might occurred which limit your physical movements and hence, no more bungee jump for you for life!

Yes, I'm telling myself these every single day. My relationship with God and Jesus have drawn closer by that book I've been reading. I'm not trying to prove I'm a VERY religious or faithful believer of Christ, I'm a human trying to please God by sharing my knowledge on Him and His Words. May God bless you all!! ^^

I smurf Smurfs!

2011-09-03T20:39:00.000+08:00

Hey guys!! It's a Saturday night and I'm doing nothing.

So recently, I have been watching pretty updated movies which includes;

THE SMURFS 3D!!!! :)

This movie is a MUST-WATCH! Those little blue creatures are ADORABLE and their names are pretty funny ^^ It's in 3D some more! What more can I say? Their Smurf song is kinda addictive and not forgetting it is cute how they include "Smurf" as a verb in whatever they do. Like I smurf you (I love you)! Totally rock ass right? You should MUST watch it in 3D! :)

Life is a test, trust and temporary assignment

2011-09-01T00:06:00.002+08:00

Finally went to 5nal destination today and seriously, it would be more nicer if I could watch it in 3D! The 3D show was scheduled at 10.00pm and some of my friends had curfew, so yeah :( Anyways, it was just ok? It isn't what I expected. Like any other sequels, you die in order in a freaky accidents. But they are really creative coming up with new ideas of dying. LOL.

So lately, I've been reading this . . .

The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

Bought it during my last paintball trip to Miri. This book helps to understand the reasons why I am alive and God's plan for me for the current moment and eternity. It's like a personal 40 days spiritual journey which helps me to understand life more and widen my views on life.

I'm not pathetic or whatsoever, just that I have reached a point in my life where I get really lost and confused about my whereabout as well as life. This book is filled with greatness and what Christians would call it as Daily Bread! You get to read one chapter per day for the next 40 days. So far, I've been walking life with this book for 8 days.

It helps me a lot in terms of thinking and understanding and not forgetting helps me to deepen my relationship with God ^^ Every chapters start with a biblical verses and ends with "Point to Ponder, "Verse to Remember" and "Question to consider". I have to say, life has been challenging for me after I start reading this book. Which is good. Sometimes, I need to do repetitive readings on one chapter to finally understand what is the hidden message and moral of the article. It helps a lot in spiritual growth!! :) Sorry I'm starting to bore you but I highly recommend those Christ believers to get this book!

It helps me in understanding and knowing God more and I strongly believe it will do the same to you too ^^

I got this wooden bracelet as well . . .

I love you, Jesus!

I have not been feeling His presence in my life lately. But I learnt that sometimes God withdrawn Himself from our life to test us. Lately, I have been feeling miserable and I have decided to let God take the lead. I love you Father!!

Party like a bitch

2011-08-28T13:18:00.007+08:00

Lately, my weekend has been really occupied with events and I'm thankful for that! This week, it was occupied with a birthday + slider party. It was a colleague's wife birthday and I was invited BECAUSE, me along with other colleagues sponsored for the giant slider. Well, it was my first time sponsoring such things but honestly, it was really fun even though I played less. I arrived at the party around 7pm when it started at 3pm. I am never late for party except this time ^^ LOL.

I was 'greeted' with Tequila shots once I arrived and seriously, two shots are enough to make me tipsy and I kinda dislike that. I wasn't able to enjoy the party and moreover, the tipsy-ness made me a bitch. But before I touch into that bitch issue, let few pictures do the talking.

The big ass 'Jungle Junction' slider.
Seriously, one awesome slide!!

Went wild!! Throw people into the pool.
I kena this also. I wasn't ready and they scooped me up and threw me in.

The mini bar! Crazy bottles of boozes they had last night.

Sorry but I LOVE this candid shot.

Cheers to awesome people!! ^^
The purple hair clip is a spoiler.

Lord, thank YOU for making blessing my life with happiness.
Praise goes to You!

So now, let's touch the bitch topic! Well, guilt washes over me this morning thinking back what crazy and inappropriate stuffs I did last night. I was behaving in an inappropriate/rude manners spitting everywhere. I spoiled the cake by wiping cream on the birthday celebrant face. Well, I saw others did it so I followed :( I kept clinging onto someone who I shouldn't cling onto. Not that, that guy is attached or something. Just INAPPROPRIATE ya know? If I can blame, I would point my finger on those Tequila shots but no. Fault should lie on myself. If I was able to control myself, I won't drink those shots. I just feel so embarrassed and guilty!!!! And what the heck, I went to tea after the party and after that holding onto someone shoulder for support while on the way to the car!! You know how ashamed I am to myself that I did that in public??? I AM FEELING SO ASHAMED!

Honestly, what I did last night really made myself a bitch and I am sooooooo guilty about it.

Paintball adventure

2011-08-24T20:50:00.001+08:00

Hi guys!

Currently, listening to worship songs while typing all these words out. Honestly, listening to worship songs set my heart and mind at peace. Something about them are soothing and comforting ^^ Life has been on tough lane lately. I have no idea what goes wrong and I will just keep praying to find out. God bless!

Anyways, the title itself is pretty much self-explanatory. Yes lovelies, I will be talking about my paintball adventure at Miri last Sunday. It was my first time engaging in such adrenaline rush activity and I have to say, it was pretty fun and exhilarating. You guys should give it a try ^^

So on that fine Sunday, a text woke me up at 6.15am and as I was trying to sleep back, the excitement kicked in -____- leaving me no choice to wake up early and get ready. Skip skip!!! We had dim sum for breakfast at Grand Palace Hotel and after that, we waited for 1.30pm to come at Boulevard.

1.00pm, headed over to Miri Game village and changed into thick and heavy coverall for the game. Before the game started, we were briefed on the usage of the paintball gun as well as the rules of the game itself. After that, equipped ourselves with protector vest, neck protector and the mask!!! :) SO AWESOME ^^ The game itself is pretty simple. Think Counter Strike!! On one game, I was to afraid to move on to another position that I ended up being "nicely" asked to surrender! LOL. Talk about courage!!!!!! I'm too lazy to go in depth with the game. Overall, it was a good game and I have bruise on my hand ^^ I am definitely looking forward to the next game. And sorry guys, I'm lazy (again) to upload pictures here. But you can view them here :) sorry for the vain pictures.

2011-08-23T22:36:00.001+08:00

Apparently, my life seems to be fine but technically, it is not. I have unidentified issues. And it is harming my spiritual well-being.

I feel so confused and lost lately. My faith is getting weaker each day. I just don't know what to do. Praying doesn't seem to help since I wasn't praying with faith. But some parts of me still cling onto Jesus Christ! I am truly thankful for that part of me. I never want to stop believing in Jesus, my man. Most magical feeling ever.

Somebody tell me what goes wrong? I want to feel that deep connection with Father again but there is just this wall blocking me to reach Him! :( I'm spiritually dying. I'm so pathetic emotionally.

Loser like me

2011-08-19T17:54:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was a public holiday and I spent it off with my friends at Bandar. We went to watch (see the picture below)

You say it!!! We went to watch Glee 3D Concert movie.

If you're a #Gleek, this movie is something you CANNOT miss!! For those who are not and wondering how it goes like, I suggest you to watch the trailer to get the picture. Basically, just casts of Glee singing their songs from Glee series in a concert in a 3D form. But honestly, don't watch if you're on Team Sue!! ^^

After that, grabbed a cup of Ice-blended Double Chocolate from Coffee Bean before Horrible Bosses start at 6pm. Yes honey, we watched two movies. Horrible bosses definitely worth the money. Laugh all the way till the credit. But too bad, so much censored scenes due to vulgarity and 'sexy' scenes!

Went to Holika Holika and bought this polish.

Didn't miss TFS! Holy cow, they sure have new shades of colour polishes. About 14 of them and hear me say, I'M SO GONNA GET THEM ^^ they are just simply irresistable :P

I had a stressful day at work today that I broke down in front of a colleague -_______- so damn embarrassing!!! People look at me and know that I'm not the usual me. My hair was all over and I ain't looking smiley at all. SO YEAH! You don't take things for granted. You don't boss over others just because you work longer in the company. THINK TWICE ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE STANDING!

The catching-up post

2011-08-13T16:12:00.012+08:00

Hey fellas!

Apologies for not blogging frequently lately. I was feeling kinda lazy and not to mentioned, slacking on my Maths revision as well. But all will go as planned soon ^^ I'm feeling just so motivated. . right now ^___________^ LOL

Anyhoo, this post is going to be a really all-in-one post. More like a post on where I am at in my life now. In other words, the catching-up post!! So, I will be talking about my skin care regime (tagged by Jesmine) and life. Hope it doesn't bored you guys out!

Just last week, I had my July salary and I spent $80 of it on The Body Shop. Let's have a look on my hauls . .

Seaweed Skin care from The Body Shop.

I've been looking for a skin care that do something to the clogged visible pores and the combination skin of mine and I stumbled across this on my visit to TBS! I have the tingling feeling on my skin during the wash and the smell, I'm still getting used to it. I bought this starter kit which include facial wash, toner, day and night cream for B$29.90. If this skin care helps, I'm going to get it once it finishes out.

Along with that, I bought . .

Seaweed Pore Perfector.

This product helps to unclog and tighten the pores. So far, I used it for only one time and of course, no effect can be seen yet. Let's hope this do wonder on my pores. Cost B$29.90

For my exfoliation, I'm using Garnier Pure A Anti-Imperfection scrub wash. Sorry I couldn't found the picture on web and I am lazy to snap a shot of it. I'm sure you guys have a picture of it in your mind. Comes in white and blue packaging. You can't miss it when you head to Garnier aisle/corner on any stores in Brunei.
For the first time when I used it, the smell was something that I wasn't used to. So leafy and natural. What I like most about this product is, you can really feel something on your skin after each wash. Something good ^^ it really does something to the pores. No doubt with that! I will definitely buy it again and it's worth the money. But I would really love to try out the TBS Seaweed Scrub wash tho :)

My last TBS haul is this . .

Totally a love a first sight ^^ If you love something sweet like me, you have to check this out when you head over to Body Shop which I'm pretty sure you guys already did before me. It costs $17.90 and yes, as shown 100ml. It is kind of multipurpose! Serves as body spray, room freshener and etc.

Finally got Love Your Body member card and few discounts as a welcoming gift for new members ^^ anyone wanna join me to TBS next month? And yes, I'm definitely going to check out the beauty workshop. I really need some advices on looking after skin and few make up tips as well.

Moving on . .

Last Monday, I went to watch Rise of Planet Apes with friends from work! It is a good movie and I have to admit that at some scenes, it got me teary cos UH HUH, I'm a cry baby and sensitive person!!!! :P After that, went to Kuala Lurah for drinking and not to forget to try their chicken wings ^^ heard it was good.

Sorry if the picture doesn't look tempting and yummy at all.

This is my favorite!! Vodka Cruiser Carnival.
And if you're wondering how does it taste like?
Green apples! ^^

My co-workers! Awesome people.

Next week, I will be heading across the border to play Paintball ^^ I'm going with my co-workers again and seriously, they are one of the reasons why I extended my attachment at JO! :) They are just bunch of awesome fellows and I'm thankful for that!

So, GCE O Level Oct/Nov timetable is out. I heard. Well, let's pray for the best. I NEED TO work my ass off for this one. I have to face this fear and after that, ALL IS WELL! Wish me luck and include me in your prayers! :P May beloved Father in heaven bless me and all of you.

Signing out . . . Have a safe and fun-filled weekend y'all.

Please be good

2011-08-02T22:50:00.001+08:00

2nd day of August and so far, August is not kinda going well for me.

Yesterday, my mom was admitted to hospital because there was a swelling at one part of her body and needed to remove it. Just a minor surgery and she was discharged today. Thank God nothing bad happened. Just hope for speed recovery!

4 more months to 2012 and 2 more months to O levels. Thinking of the latter freaks me out big time. I think I am not ready and well-prepared for it. I think I most prolly will screw it T.T GEEZ MAN! please save me!!!!

So long

2011-07-31T20:11:00.001+08:00

Hi guys!

It has been quite a while since I last blogged. And today, is the last day of July!! Yes, I needed a break from Blogger layout, so thats why I am using this skin from Blogskins :)

I had shitload of fun this month and not to mention, I wasted quite a lot of money too -_- Wasting too much on celebratory stalls, not on clothes and etc but on foods. Fasting month is coming up real quick and I bet I'm putting on more weights due to those tempting buffet promos! Are you not tempted?

My desktop is finally completed in set. My PU is back and the first thing I did was installing Sims 3 Ambitions and it is a great game. You can either choose job or profession. Job is the job and profession like being a doctor, ghost hunter, architecture design, fashion stylist, detective, firefighter and sculptor! There, I name it all for you guys. It is really worth the money/download. Anyways, this afternoon, I wasted all my phone credit uploading all over-due pictures onto Facebook and oh my god, uploading pictures are sooooo...pain in the ass. I wonder how Sheau Hui survived that.

Speaking of pictures, I owe you guys a post on my new camera! I shall talk about it in details pretty soon! And I have a tagged post to do. Ahhhh, so much to do but I'm enjoying it :D

Come and go.

2011-07-20T20:12:00.001+08:00

First and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS to all my fellow friends for getting accepted to universities!!! Study well and have fun. Frankly, I envy you guys :( like everybody is moving forward and I'm still stuck at the same ol' place. Sighs. BUT I chose to look it this way - God wants me to get opinions/ideas about uni life from my friends. So I have the time and space to think deeply about my paths. All those uni concerns will be solve once my friends start their semester :)

Last Sunday, I went to the get-together celebration at KB. At first, the waiting was crazy. The performance went on about short 15mins and then HM and the royal family went around and shook hands with the residents. The queue was so dragon-like long and yeah, imagine how long I waited. But honestly, IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT! Pheobe and crew and me got to take pictures with Prince Abdul Mateen! Those muscles are total melting factors. So tough-looking and well-built up body. Total prince charming. LOL. After that, grabbed pizza for lunch at Fratini with Pheobe n her bro as well as Han!

It is the leaving season again. Tian Fu just left to SG today and next, Tingwen will be going back to Melb on Friday. Just really sad. Even my friends moving to Bandar makes me sad. I am a sucker for separation. But I know, it is for the best and we will see each other again before we know it. I really wish every single one of you, ALL THE BEST!!

Weight issues

2011-07-16T21:56:00.001+08:00

Lately, friends around me, including myself are complaining about weight gains and ridiculous food intakes. Girls!! :P

Honestly, sometimes I ignore the fact that my belly is bulging and eat all and whatever I want because I think foods are blessing. AND sometimes, I care about my belly and try to eat less than provided. Just sooo ugh you know?

I think it is all about eating and picking the right and healthy choices if you want to lose some weights. Adequate work out help to lose weight as well. These days, I'm learning to read nutritional facts on foods packaging and trying to understand it. Yes, I'm getting conscious about my health. Losing belly fats may be tough but I'm willing to do anything to get back my flat tummy. Geez. Talk about beauty!

Where do I go?Where do I go?

2011-07-15T21:24:00.001+08:00

Hi guys!!

Public holiday today = sleep all I want. Definitely feeling super lazy today but I went to hike in the afternoon with a friend. It was a hell long of track. I think I almost passed out because my heart and lungs are not use to exercises. But thank God, I got through it. It was fun. I will go again. Felt so amazing after that!

So sad that people are starting to leave again :( it is for the best I know. Honestly, I envy those who go to uni regardless overseas or local. Like people are moving forward while I'm still stuck in the moment. I miss studying!! And did I mention my parent couldn't afford to send me to uni? Yep, I maybe just lost my chance of studying. I was dissapointed and upset but thank God, He blessed me with strength and wisdom. He mentally show me the conclusions to every actions I take. But I will see how things go when HECAS release the successful applicants this coming monday. I am not putting any hope, frankly speaking.

Moan-day blues

2011-07-11T22:51:00.000+08:00

Gotten the blues today. Shucks! But it got better throughout the day. Praise Lord.

Y'all know where can I get those cloth specially made for cleaning camera? I really need one.

It is all about $

2011-07-10T23:46:00.001+08:00

Thank Lord for filling my weekend with fun events.

-SATURDAY-
As I mentioned, I went to eat sushi with collegues after work. After that, went to get my baby, Sony Wx7 (shall talk about it soon). Had a visit to BRIDEX at the very last minute with another guy co-worker. It was just . . . Really a waste of money because it was the 2nd last or last day. At night, had a mini steamboat gathering at Maria's place with few friends and it was brilliant. We talked and gossiped a lot :P it was fun and interesting! I slept over at Maria, along with S.Hui and we stayed up and talked till 3am in the morning. Craziness.

-SUNDAY-
Woke up at 7.30am to go tea with friends. I am sleep deprived!!! Oh god. Anyways, we hang around Teng's crib before me and XR left to bandar with another friends. Watched Green Lantern and it sucks. Really wasted the money. My haul for today is, mascara from Bodyshop! They are having sales and i really was looking for mascara. So, it was worth it :) after that, went to JP and it suck. Boo! I spent around B$60+ just for today. How scary is that?!

Seriously I need to stop spending so much. I started to list to my expenses and keep all receipts so that at end of each month, I will know how much I spent and able me to do comparison. I think it is good so far! Wish me luck

New look

2011-07-10T02:04:00.003+08:00

Finally get to blog from a laptop after so long time :) feels so good man. LOL

Anyways, MY SONY WX7 IS FINALLY ON MY HAND :D I am so mad happy and excited about it. I was just after lunch from Kaizen with my co-workers when Boo called and when I looked at the caller ID, I kinda expected what he was going to say. HAHAHAHA!!! I just can't wait to start exploring with it now. Currently, have a sleepover at a friend's place, having heart to heart talk.

How do you find my new layout look like? Please let me know. I would like to know your thinking..

I gotta go, im hungryyyyyyyyy~

2011-07-08T14:16:00.000+08:00

Hello. Yes, opening the door for all again! :)

lacquers!!

2011-07-07T22:02:00.000+08:00

Suppose I have a gathering to attend tonight but I didn't get to go due to transport problem. Shucks!! But it's alright, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna see Tingwen before she leaves. And eitherway, I still have Kaizen lunch date with few co-workers this Saturday ;) and maybe God wants me to save judging my financial frustration lately!

I painted my nails!! Toe nails are looking better than hand nails. My right nails are ALWAYS flawed because my left hand is not being a good and stable hand. But anyways, I still like them. Cant wait to try my white OPI!! AND i ordered another OPI. Oh my my.

2011-07-03T22:27:00.003+08:00

2011-07-03T22:27:00.001+08:00

Just have to love what was on my face

2011-07-03T22:26:00.001+08:00

Transformers 3

2011-07-02T22:08:00.002+08:00

Yep readers, I watched that despite the sold out in cinemas but not Qlap cineplex! It was just great and brilliant although Megan Fox wasn't in it anymore. More Autobots and Decepticons. So damn cool and awesome man! I hope there will be forth instalment. Michael Bay is the man!

Before movie, went to The Mall to pass time and I met DJ IZAN!!! Apparently, she was emceeing for Etude House 2nd branch opening at Utama Grand. She had me make over because there were two make up artists flying in from Korea and the make over was FREE! How lucky?! Anyways, I love what they put on my face and how it turned out. Not too thick and over. Just light yet stunning!! Nothing like TFS make up. Very plain like a face with minimal make ups but pretty! I just cant describe it. I think this make over is great. Great exposure of Etude House products for me. I love Etude House now! LOL. I gotten free goodies as well. A body care, mini BB cream and skin care for pores. Fit me right :)

I hope I'm getting my baby, Sony DSC Wx7 soon!!!

2011-06-26T23:10:00.001+08:00

yours truly!

So,

2011-06-26T23:04:00.000+08:00

Another week went by and June is coming to an end. July is gonna be lively with all those night stalls and stuffs! :) not to forget, Tingwen has returned to homeland. Can't wait to see her!

So, I have been slacking on Maths as well. I keep telling myself all this slacking do me no good and I need to force myself to learn it. Honestly, I have no confident in getting a credit, judging from those exercises that Senthil gave. ALMOST every questions I asked her. Die lo like this! Hoping for the best really. .

Good news, I got over my ex!! I went to his facebook page today and I dont get that frustrated or jealousy feeling again. All the flashbacks meant nothing to me anymore. Cos I believe, God has someone better for me. I believe my man is somewhere out there seeking for me too! Right now, I pretty much enjoy my life at this point. I don't cry over the fact that i am single. In fact, I don't even realize i am single. Guess, it doesnt really bother me. Single is just a status and whats matter is, life goes on. Cheers!

Price is beauty

2011-06-25T00:02:00.000+08:00

Have a listen to Selena Gomez - Who Says. It is a pretty old song but I personally think it's inspiring and could be a great help to those dealing with low self-confidence in terms of appearance.

Tonight we gonna parr-parrrr-ty

2011-06-20T23:16:00.000+08:00

I had a wasted Saturday last week! I attended a party and it was one fun party. People got drunk and puke everywhere. Guys made me drink and gotten myself drunk too, sleeping on a solid ground regardless road or grass and found myself kneeling beside drain with a friend patting my back and vomitted till a part where the 'vomit' came out from nostril. Hit my own bed at 3am! Thats what I call life. I somehow sinned.

Anyways, work was busy. Was kinda pissed at a collegue ,when she told me 'tell me if you are not busy' and the next minute, put her damn work at my in-tray! Pfft. I ended up doing her work. Yes, I AM NOT on my greatest today.

My skin is being extra bitchy lately. Pimples and visible pores. I'mma head to BodyShop to get the skin care when I get paid. Still long long time.

I miss party.

You are my all

2011-06-17T22:56:00.001+08:00

I hope my previous post don't freak you out. HA HA HA. This kind of silly and camwhore thing happened when you had nothing better to do!

Almost 11pm, I shall sleep. But before that, I want to thank God for today. : ) as you noticed, I talked a lot about God now. Yes, that is how much I am in love with God and JESUS my Lord!! Although I am not a Christian..yet, but believing is more than enough. I am becoming a better person. Reading Our Daily Bread, a daily devotional book, really help me a lot.

Anyways, got to meet up with Maria, Xing Rong and Tian Fu last night. It was enjoyable. We crashed Xing Rong place and spent time over bowl of Asam curry fish, fruits and sweet potatoes dessert. Yummers served by her mom. We watched Glee as well! SAM AND BLAINE ARE MY NEW LOVE OH HO HO HO. They are so much of a cuties :P

Monkey goes silly

2011-06-17T21:26:00.001+08:00

And monkey gal said HI

Greatest of all

2011-06-15T22:45:00.001+08:00

Hi blog.

Down to four months plus to complete Maths. Have I mentioned that? It is really freaking me out. Constantly need encouragements and inspirations. Found them through His words, written on bible. Biblical verses are like my daily dose of marijuana now.

Anyways, I feel joy. I am blessed with peace, joy and strength and THANK YOU FATHER OF LORD JESUS for blessing me everyday. Prayer works like magic. When God thinks what you prayed is what He wants you to have, He will answer it. He increases faith when He answered. On other hand, when your prayer wasn't answered, dont fret! He is thinking 'hmm, I dont think thats good for you/not the right timing'. Believe that He has something super and better for you. He increases patience when He didn't answer. Father knows whats best for us, so we must not doubt Him.

Recently, I was less active in twitter. I thought I COULDNT live without tweeting. But I was wrong. In fact, it makes my life better! Not feeling left out or pissed. I just love that! Gonna keep it this way baby. Twitter sometimes is a VERY negative place to be.

I love my life especially THE ONE who gave me this opportunity to breathe.

A shakey boat rides!

2011-06-13T22:26:00.000+08:00

Hello peeps!!

As expected, I'm going to blog about my short vacation to island of Labuan! One word to summarize all, memorable.

We arrived Serasa ferry terminal around 6.30am and nope, I didn't have hard time waking up at 4am! LOL. We boarded at 7.45am and the first feeling that hit me when I was in the boat was, uncomfortable. Not only the tide was high that day, the diesel smell of the engine was SICKENING! High tide made the boat ride a last place on earth to be. I HAD SEA SICK! Gosh. But nothing terrible like getting drunk. I was feeling nauseous and whats worst was, i cant vomit. I had to insert my finger down my throat and puked. But anyways, there was also this cute ang moh who got sea sick too! ;) he look almost like Nick Jonas! LOL. HE IS SO ADORABLE!! HAHAHAHA. I managed to talk to him for a lil bit when i stayed at the back dock of the ship and when we almost reached Labuan! :p hehehe.

We stayed at Marinner Hotel, near to the biggest local shopping centre. A short 10mins walk to there. We walked most of the time because of the size of the island. We only took cabs the 2nd day when we visited the places of interest - bird park, botanical garden, temple and marine museum.

First day and night was all walking around town. It was tiring yet good. You won't get lost, thats for sure. LOL. Second day was visiting places of interest like the abovementioned. There were a lot more like WW2 Memorial, the Chimney, the peace park and blah blah more.

I splurged mostly on chocolates. Bought 3 mini collectible bottles of Barcardi, Absolut Vodka and Absolut Ruby Red. Bought on In2it eyeshadow, a fake ray bean shades and ermm more shoes! LOL. and one more thing about Labuan is, there are like a lot of duty free shops around. Prices are more or less the same. Differ by RM2 to RM5. I drank a lot of pearl bubble teas as well :p

We left at 4pm and i had seasick on the way home too. Sucks. No more hotties but cuties. LOL. Hiao much? HAHAHAHAHA! But overall, i had great fun and enjoyed myself.

Okay.

It's Friday, friday.

2011-06-10T22:36:00.001+08:00

That song has been playing in my head all day long today. It is catchy! YES, that's the word I am looking for, catchy. Anyways, I'm talkin about Glee cover. : ) big ass fan of Glee here!

As you know, I will be heading to Labuan tomorrow. Yipee! I will miss my blog big time, seriously :/ but I hope it will be fun! And my parent is out of their minds to depart from home at 5am when we are suppose to arrive at the terminal at 7am. Somebody talk some senses please! So meaning, I must wake up at 4am. Geez.

Just when I thought no one cares, God put few people into my life. Honestly, I am not afraid to share my problems with others. Okay, maybe not too detailed, just in general. Anyways, the other day Layla suggested that me and her and Xing Rong should go tea at FAC. Whats more touching is, she said ' since you are not hanging out with Zack them anymore, why not we go tea at FAC? ' :') TOUCH MY HEART LO! Thank You God for listening to my prayers and let them walk into my life. You are the GREATEST!

ALRIGHT, should hit the sack now. Goodnight blog. Love you!

Uncertainty.

2011-06-09T09:48:00.001+08:00

Hello world.

Last night, had a farewell gathering for Siew Fun at Kaizen coz she will be heading to Kuching this Friday to study. I envy these people, I mean in term of their future or study stability. Their roads are set and they don't have to worry about just anythin before another new world of wisdom and knowledge starts for them. I wish them all the best!

While, on myself, the uni issue risen up again just when I thought I have my path set straight. I was wrong. I didn't think of the acceptance part. That is, even if you apply for the course and meet the requirement, it doesn't mean the uni will accept you. Judging on my borderline result, I doubt I will be chosen out of sea of people who have better results than me. So it comes down to - even if I score C6 or better for Maths, it doesn't guarantee me a spot in that course. So wouldn't it be a waste of time?

But looking on + side, why not give it a shot? Better than sitting here and fret! Why give up Maths halfway? It wouldn't harm to try. I will never give up. Never say never.

I will leave everything to God, only He knows whats best for me.

First vblog

2011-06-07T22:41:00.001+08:00

Patience is a virtue

2011-06-05T23:41:00.000+08:00

Today, something happened. He talked to me and apologized for the nasty things he said and done.

Now, I believe, great things or miracles happen to those who waits patiently and faithfully! Thank You dearest Father! Praise Lord.

Glorified

2011-06-05T00:35:00.000+08:00

Saturday night, spent it at home. Just when I thought I couldn't survive the night, I came up with few things to keep me distracted.

I finally put up the wall deco sticker, a monkey :p on my bed head. Spent quality time with book and chatted with Maria! Like AT LAST, someone to talk to. I really want to thank her for being there for me and hear me out. I'm also glad, I somehow hear some of her troubles too AND right now, she is the only one that has the permission to view this blog :D THANK YOU BABE!

I will be heading to Labuan next week for a short gateaway. I know right, of all places, WHY LABUAN? Ask my parents. LOL. But it is fine. Needed it too! :D and thank God I gotten my salary today. WOO!

My eyes degree just got worse. 2.00 now! Oh god.

Can't believe it

2011-06-03T23:36:00.000+08:00

I feel so left out in this world. What have I done? Why is that when I want somebody to care, they just arent there? Or it is me pushing them away? I feel neglected.

Even my close cousins won't even bother. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF LIVING LIKE THIS!! WHAT HAVE I DONE? TELL ME.

:)

2011-06-01T22:34:00.001+08:00

i was surprised how tight he held me and i can felt it shaking. I was surprised and melting when he placed his head on mine. Gosh!! I am gonna miss him a lot. I even dreamt of him last night. Too bad night mode wasnt on :( aww! And he's a Pisces who shared the same birthday as JB! Am not surprised i am attracted to him. ;)

Back stage

2011-06-01T22:19:00.000+08:00

Hi world!! It's June :) I have a feeling telling me it is going to be amazing!!

So last night was the night. Stardom Quest Season 1 finale!! I worked at backstage, preparing contestants for the performance and make sure they go nowhere! It was great, i mean my task. Interacting with them, had fun with them and watched them performed. I even gave them a small talk before they performed and had this hands together go-go-go thing. Hahaha. I had great time! I am gonna miss them especially Gyver, my faved :P pic of him and me up next.

Who the hell are you?

2011-05-30T23:47:00.001+08:00

Who do you think you are to call me a self-centered bitch? Who the hell you are to say I haven't learn my lesson? If your answer is as a someone who cares, then let me tell you, think twice.

Heart break is unforeseen and inevitable and you are blaming for putting you into such devastating state? Do you think I wanted it? I admit my fault, that was unsure about my feeling toward you and gave you false hope. Other than that, what else did i do? Taking you for granted when in the first place you offer you will help and be there for me? Did i misuse ANYTHING? Boy, think twice before you promise and think twice before you bitch about me.

Yeah, i haven't learn my lesson, SO? What right does that give you that say i am a bitch for not learning my lesson? I want retweets whatever i want, so to save that heart ache, stop stalking! You, dont have the right to call me a bitch when you know and understanding NOTHING! Who do you think you are? Think about that.

Should I?

2011-05-30T19:23:00.000+08:00

Let you know how much I miss you right now?

It's killing me. .

2011-05-29T12:36:00.000+08:00

Dear J

if you somehow found this blog, dedicating Backstreet boys - I still. All i wanted to say to you are in this song.

2011-05-28T19:57:00.001+08:00

OMG HELLO MY BELOVED BLOG T.T I thought I was losing you when there was problem with blogger. Thank God!! You meant the world to me frankey-monkey.blogspot.com

I changed my link because I don't think anyone reading it. Or honestly, no one even bothered about me anymore. Or is it just me, still living with expectations. Tryna change that. But it is much easier said than done.

While I am still living with expectation, i find that i havent found my true friend at all. I know i musn't rely much on people to solve my problems, but still at least show that you care, I am happy.

Maybe J was right after all. Karma is doing its job on me right now. God, please give me strength and healing. I have to move on from him. Let me be immune to the memories..

Changed

2011-05-26T15:53:00.000+08:00

I had enough. Officially gone hiatus. Nobody reading

High tide

2011-05-25T23:52:00.001+08:00

Hi guys!!!

Just got back from a mini gathering with Maria, Xing Rong and Tian Fu! It was great, i meant the hang out. Catching up with each others over fast foods. Had great laughs and crazy vain moments as well!! Pictures up in Facebook soon. All were HYPED!

I had an amazing day today despite everything that happened lately. I think there's ALWAYS this period of my life that I turn into some bitches and realize it when somebody tell me. I have been wondering, what cause me to that? The pressure? The fact that I am at my limit? Or simply because I have attitude problems from the start? I think I am taking things for granted and I am finding a way to change that. It is going to be tough but I will manage it. But right now, lets fix the attitude problems. Simplify.

I will find you

2011-05-24T23:17:00.001+08:00

Today is a very blessed day. Funny how my previous post pinpointed my problems. Now I know. Honestly, I knew it all this along, I was just too unsure and afraid to admit it.

Sometimes, it is better to let your guard down than to fight, which make things worse. That was how I felt this morning. There was this inner voice asked me to go bombarding and another telling me to calm down and accept it. I'm glad I chose to listen to latter! For first time, I felt peace. Maybe because I chose to face to truth. Now, i'm working on my problems. One at a time. No rush. Gonna take it slowly. I'm doing it for myself. Improving myself. Shaping myself into who/what God wants me to be.

I am positive sure I will find back the things I missed. It is out there, waiting to be found.

Thank you.

No expectation, cruel reality.

2011-05-23T22:18:00.001+08:00

"Best thing about the worst time of your life is that you get to see the true colors of everyone you cared for." - taken from DamnRightTweets via Twitter.

THAT quote totally speak my mind. I've seen the true colours of them. Not only I've seen the true colours of people I care, I've seen the true colours of who 'care'. You know how sometimes people make promises just to comfort you and they actually don't mean it? Yeah, these people are assholes. They made me believe promises are made up of lies and trust is becoming an issue in my life. Let me tell you people something here, don't promise me ANYTHING if you can't fulfill or mean it in the first place ok? That way, I will hold no expectations from you guys when I am at my worse.

I am trying not to live with expectations cos it leads to dissapointments. I am trying to keep my distance from those fake people wandering in and out of my life. I am trying to live alone. Just God and me. He is faithful. He is always listening when I am down on knees and pray. He is always there when I needed someone. He will walk this life He gave me with me.

I am not seeking any attention or sympathy. I am so done pleasing people. I know deep inside who TRULY cares. I will live a new life. Changes are coming.

Time for . . .

2011-05-22T21:23:00.001+08:00

A lil bit of my camwhore pic to light up this text filled blog.

I didn't photoshop. Just played with the colour contrast.

It's Saturday night!!

2011-05-21T22:57:00.000+08:00

Earlier, went to a co-worker's house for a baby full month feast. It was good despite feeding the mosquitoes. I had great time. Tonight is absolutely a laid back Saturday night! :) enjoyed it.

It's midst of May. Time flies and I'm getting my pay in erm about 1 week+ time? I need to save more starting this month cos honey, I am getting a camera soon. Nope, not a DSLR. Just a normal and simple digital camera with brilliant features. Sony DSC WX7, google it. I bet you will fall head over heel too! :P gorgeous baby.

21 May

2011-05-20T22:27:00.001+08:00

If the world is to end tomorrow. If Judgement Day is tomorrow. I just want to let you know, I love you.

Healing and strength

2011-05-20T22:09:00.000+08:00

I am praying. God be with me throughout my life.

Take note..

2011-05-19T22:43:00.000+08:00

Dear future boyfriend, sing me Justin Bieber's songs, I swear I will love you forever.

Notice, how I used boyfriend instead of boyfriends? I hope my next is my Mr. Right! ;) hehe.

Faith shaken

2011-05-18T20:25:00.001+08:00

Lately, I'm behaving like a bitch. My attitudes and my behaviour and everything. I'm becoming more impatience, straight forward and like to nag. When I dislike something, I have to spit it out. Unlike last time, I will keep it all inside. I guess, I've reach my limit. There is always a bitch moment in girls' lives I guess?

My life is rolling down the hill. I can't find strong positivity. I'm somehow, getting tired. I think i've been holding up too long. It's time to take a rest. I know, I've been taking things for granted. I'm living by rules. I'm living with expections from self and others. It just sucks you know? Can I just live freely? Can I have pure freedom? Can I live, not worrying about others? Can i once be mean and selfish?

Reaching for the star

2011-05-15T22:20:00.001+08:00

I WATCHED BEASTLY!!! I never expect local cinemas will show it, but there you go :) Alex Pettyfer as usual, a hottie and V Hudgens is quite a beauty. The movie was great. But honestly, it is NOT worth watching it in cinema because of the pretty simple storyline. Eitherway, it is still good!!

Been helping Dreamz MKZ Event Management Company to run the Stardom Quest, a local singing and talent competition. Final is pretty soon, which is the last day of May! I'm helping to sell tickets too. BND2 and BND5! Pretty cheap. Final will be held at JP Amphitheatre. I heard there will be a S'pore invited guest. ANDDDD there is this one cute and geeky Filipino guy. His voice is brilliant and I hope he qualifies for semi final! :) hehe. I need to take a pic with him!

Friday the 13th

2011-05-14T11:14:00.001+08:00

Aside from Justin Bieber's NSN out on sale, there was nothing else that made me happy yesterday except one more personal thing. Frankly, even JB's NSN case was dissapointing because I can't have them in my hands :(

Yesterday, was total an unlucky day for me. My SE K660i of 2years+ dropped into water for the first time in history. It was sort of deja vu thing. I was in a toilet at a restaurant, i was starring at this bucket full of water and immediately in my head, played a scene of my phone dropped into it. The next thing I know, within a blink of an eye, I witnessed my phone dived into that bucket. Thank God, it wasn't dead when I retrieved it. Really have phobia now. The last time, i dropped my ex phone into toilet bowl. Now bucket. Next, maybe at sea?

First workout

2011-05-12T22:06:00.000+08:00

Today was definitely a day to remember. I attended an aerobic class at Pusat Insani and trust me, it was my first physical intense workin out. It was fun and it was free! Pick up few dance moves as well cos I stayed a lil longer for the dance class.

The instructor is a guy, who dance groovy type of hip hop dance that make you go wow! But too bad, my body is not soft and groovy. I dance like a tree branch.

After workout, I felt my tummy flat down a lil bit :D and i had sushi for dinner.

Gonna join the next dance classes, hopefully.

Friends, beware.

2011-05-10T21:59:00.001+08:00

I can finally breath normally. Finally a weight just got lift off my shoulder. Things are back to normal. I'm glad and thankful!

Either the decision is good or bad, one thing i definitely feel that is true, joy! :) what happen after this, is all up to dearest Father. He has my life.

One thing i learnt from this whole thing is seeing the true colour of people. I've learnt not too 100% fall for promises and just cautiously believe 20% of it. I've seen who is real and fake friends. I really don't mind having little friends, because there goes a saying 'you can never have too many friend'. I thank God for a down moment like this in my life. I see who is the worthy friends or people. Sometimes, it is better to rely on yourself. You come to this life alone, you fight alone and you leave alone. Of course, TRUE friends will be there to support you when you fight :)

There are only FEW people that truly care about you while MOST people just want to know to fill their time. And for the latter type of people, i reckon you find something better to do.

There are also this type of 'two sides' people. They always stand on the right/winning/pathetic side. Example is this, a guy dumped a girl. This people stand on the girl side because they feel pity her. But turn out, it was the girl who dumped the guy, they quickly switch sides and point their finger on the girl. PATHETIC MUCH?

If you feel offended, maybe you should think twice if you are those type of person. And i'm just sharing MY thought. No right or wrong.

2011-05-10T13:56:00.000+08:00

I lost a good friend today. I won't believe any words and promises anymore. I am done.

It's love story

2011-05-03T22:39:00.002+08:00

Blaming romance novels, I'm dreaming of love that will never happen in real life. Because they are written. They never happened.

What I am about to say are craps. You may leave.

I fell out of love, hard, 5 months ago. It was the toughest time of my life. It was the shittiest time of my life. A relationship of 2 years plus just gone like that! Poof. Honestly, it was the most amazing relationship I had for the past 19years of my life. The guy was great. We had been going on and off during our relationship, that lastly, it ended for real and for good. I fell so bad and I swear that was the first time I've been that emotional in my life. I made myself drunk, I smoked and did a lot of stuffs I never thought I would do. My heart was completely broken. Silly enough.

But during that toughest and downturn of my life, I found God and Jesus Christ. I learnt who my true friends are. I learnt love is not everything. Love can come in a lot of ways. Frankly, I learnt a lot. This heartbreak was totally eye and mind opening.

With my faith in God and Christ, I feel His everlasting love. The security, the care, the warmth and the joy that no one can give. I am thankful.

Falling back into love again for me, is definitely not something I want to think about for now. I don't want to fall back into love because I miss the feelings and things my ex and I used to do and share together. I will when I am ready. It is hard not to compare and expect something better from the next one since the previous one was already better.

Eitherway, thank you for those who had been there for me. You know who you are. Knowing you guys are the greatest gift from above!

2011-04-29T23:16:00.001+08:00

Courage and confrontation.

2011-04-26T22:34:00.001+08:00

Both complement each other. Without courage, you won't be able to confront. Tell me if i'm wrong.

When face with problems, don't escape hoping it will go away. Cos trust me, it wont. It will make things worse in fact. Find the courage to face it. I know courage is not easy to find but it is around the neighbourhood. It just a matter of time you gather all the guts and face the problems. Problems stay in your life and how you solve it depends on the matter of time you take to gather all your guts. Just don't escape it. Things turn uglier if you do.

Life is never smooth. Life is like a highway. It has it turns and bumps and long. Be thankful for the good and bad things happen in your life. Bad things leave you with something. Lessons, which shape you to someone better, stronger and wiser.

Whaddya think?

Starstruck at Super Idol

2011-04-24T23:22:00.001+08:00

HAPPY EASTER DAY Y'ALL!! I wish I celebrate it. LOL.

I had a superb weekend mainly because of the Super Idol competition. It was crazy and my first time attending such singing contest! Cheered for a friend with awesome hairstyle, Michelle Yang. Although she didn't make it but round of applause for her courage and confidence to step up and performed on that stage with million eyes gazing at you. I went crazy and hyped. Shouted, jumped and a temporary fangirl over the former champion of Super Idol 黄文星. He is super good looking that I told him 'omg,ni hen shuai' when I had his autographed on the ticket. Took pictures with him somemore!! HAHAHA. Obviously, i'm a temporary fan that got starstruck at the competition. Took picture with the champion too. He really deserve that title although he is not local. His vocal is totally heart-winning! Saw a lot of hot + cute guys that drove me insane.

Celebrated 21st birthday for a friend. The plan failed cos of miscommunication. Oh well. At least it was a blast and success for the cake splat!

I'm drop dead tired and fucking broke.

A blessed 16/04

2011-04-17T00:46:00.002+08:00

Hi people on Earth! How's your weekend treating you so far? Hope all is well :)

Anyways, like the title said, I really had an amazing and blessed Saturday. Last minute plan to Miri with a good guy friend. Main purpose; Starbucks! LOL. But other than that, we went to search for a cross necklace! We almost gave up when we couldn't found the shop but luckily we did not! We found that place and first step to that place was really holy and peaceful. We saw a lot of crosses, statues of Jesus and Mother Mary. Crucifix crosses, religious books and whole lot more of goodness. Fortunate or fate, there was this lovely saleslady. She told us so much about Christian, Jesus, Mother Mary, few verses in bible, crosses and even gave me a flyer on baptism. Both of us were really lucky! I bought a crucifix necklace, a meaningful bookmark and two crosses pendant. I was overall very happy and relieved with my purchase.

After that, he drove me around Miri and finally went to Bintang blah blah complex. We had MerryBrown for dinner and honestly, they were dissapointing! We walked around and headed to Emart after a round of Starbucks! :p We went to Emart just to get the cross earrings I laid my eyes on the other day I headed there. But end up, I got a dangling cross earrings. I love them! :D and yeh, we went to Nature Republic too. Got myself an eyeliner. Seriously, I LIKE THAT PLACE. Products are so cute ok?! Hope they are opening a branch in Brunei soon.

I had an awesome, amazing, fantastic, brilliant and best day ever. Totally bieber fever in the car! :P

Dream

2011-04-14T07:37:00.002+08:00

I had a super weird dream last night. I dreamt of a family vacation to Aussie and I saw a crucifix cross at one of the places I was staying.

So, this morning, waking up with O_O expression, I went to interpret my dream, online. And here are my findings;

Crucifix

To dream of a crucifix represents freedom, new
beginnings, and inner peace.
The dream may be tapping
into your personality and
character as it relates to your religious beliefs. It may also symbolize obstacles and
troubles you are experiencing in your life. Perhaps you feel as if others are persecuting you for your actions.

Another finding,

Crucifix

To see a crucifix in your
dream, is symbolic of new life, spiritual guidance, and
liberation. The dream may
serve as a connection with
your inner Christ/love
consciousness. Alternatively, it represents your difficulties
and hardships. Do you feel you are being crucified for something in your life?

Vacation
To dream that you are on
vacation is a reminder that we all need to take a break from our daily lives. Spending a few days relaxing will re-energize you for the tasks and events of your waking life. Conversely, a vacation canrepresent all of your hard work. You have completed the tasks set for you and have done an excellent job.

So....

Life is imperfect but beautiful.

2011-04-13T19:39:00.001+08:00

Do you wake up every morning and thank God for it? Do you thank God for giving you the chance to live another day before you head to bed? I pretty much do. But saying it without meaning it equals to not being thankful at all. It is just like praying without faith and heart. I came across that, when you pray whole heartedly and full of faith, that prayer is likely to be answered or if it doesn't, God is testing your patience.

Do you guys turn to God ONLY when you're upset, confuse, mad, in doubt or down side in general? I noticed I kinda do, but sometimes I still pray and be thankful even when I on my up side. I've been following quotes sites at Twitter and some really speak the truth. It helps me a lot. It really open up my mind and heart. I'm trying to live my life on forgive and forget basis. I'm trying not to hate and pray for blessings for those who hates me. I'm working on living a balanced life. Not too much emo and not too much happiness. Because, if you live too happily, you will never learn things. You will never grow up. If you live with sadness or grieving, it gets you no-where. But one thing is that, pain helps us learn a lot and become stronger. Thats my way of seeing life. It doesnt apply to anyone.

Life is beautiful, if you believe it that way.

#bieberfever #NSN3D

2011-04-11T10:54:00.000+08:00

I totally caught the Bieber fever. It gotten worst after watching Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D yesterday. It was really awesome. Brilliant! That kid is so talented and not to mention, adorable, charming and whatever nice! LOL. There were obviously fans watching it and they mini shrieked when the baby photo of JB appeared on the screen. Okay, i admit. I shrieked too. I can't help it man. HAHAHAHA. The movie itself is good. Telling the story of him to stardom. Basically, kinda similar to MJ's This is it. But this one with 3D! I really recommend this movie to everyone of you. Don't hate him.

Had McD for dinner and I gotta say, worst first McD experience.

Justin Bieber in Brunei

2011-04-11T10:40:00.001+08:00

The picture, self explanatory!

Me and my reflection

2011-04-07T21:52:00.001+08:00

Pay day was yesterday and yup, I was mad happy about it! I splurged about $70 already. Buying daily needs and clothing. Being a girl sometimes it is amazing. I'm amazed how shopping and buying stuffs can make a girl head up to cloud 9. But of course, not to overspend because to satisfy maximum happiness. Do you think people derived happiness from money?

Today, my supervisor asked me if I want to work till uni starts. It is quite ermmm but i'm considering it. Could it be that God answered my prayer? Hmmmm.. I really gotta study hard for Maths. I only have one shot and I don't wanna waste another year.

A lot have been going through my mind lately. Searching for what I truly want and which is true in terms of feeling. I was told there will be a lot of unhappy events occuring to me this year, the other day I had my palms read. I know I will get through them, but of course with one and only beloved God. I feel like I've been thrown into a desert, lost, confused and fighting for survival. Sometimes, I love the thoughts of being alone. Everything is about me and I dont need to care about how others feel. Guess, I already reach the point in my life where being alone is perfectly fine. I can do it.

Downgraded

2011-04-05T23:10:00.001+08:00

Nightmare started. Maths tuition! Today is the 2nd day and you know, after feeling like 'downgrade' from A level to O level, Maths seems KINDA fun! LOL. I guess A level somehow do something good to my brain.

Recently, been worrying about job. Nothing to do with my current job. Just that, this month is my last and am kinda worry I can't find another job. What if I stay jobless till next year? Where I get money to spend?

I feel like changing my hair colour to purple! I'm kinda bored with this reddish-orange hair. Oh, how I miss my red hair :(

Fantastic outing

2011-04-03T22:28:00.001+08:00

So earlier, met up with Maria, Fu and Xing Rong. We had tea at wywy. It was nice. I mean the outing! I felt so hyped and laid back. I talked to them about getting a cross tattoo but most disagree especially when i'm planning to convert. So i guess it's okay. Besides, i dont think i can bear the pain as well :)

After that, we went to OGDC. There was a small function and there were series of sport cars being displayed and motorbikes! It was crowded and not to mention, HOT! There was face painting as well :) and four of us camwhored like a lot! HEHE. Maria had to go after Mum's bakery so the remaining headed to KB for tea. TH and Derrick joined us shortly after that. Then bla bla bla.. I had an amazing day today yaw!

Time changes people. We may like or dislike the change. There is nothing we can do to stop the change. It is inevitable! Eitherway, i will learn to accept the change.